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Courtesy of Angela Smith

Right about now, my heart is saying “Look where God has brought you!” It’s hard to comprehend that I am living a total and completely different lifestyle to that of even just a year ago.  After being married for 31 years, working full time and raising 4 beautiful children, I can say like the old chorus “Through it all, I’ve learned to trust in Jesus, I’ve learned to depend upon his word”.  God has been faithful even when I didn’t feel as though we could make it together as a couple, God held us together, by his chords of love.  There were times when those chords were so stretched that it felt that with the slightest tug, we would have fallen apart – but his favour on our lives said ‘Not so’.  There were times when I would sit in church beside my husband, the tears streaming down my face; people thought I was being touched by the worship.  How wrong they were – I was sitting beside my husband (a wonderful married couple people would say), but I was in pain.  Deep pain, gut wrenching pain, unbearable pain.   We had an argument at home, can’t quite remember what on earth it was about, but we left for church angry bitter and very hurt.  Did I find peace, solace and upliftment there – unfortunately not.   You see you can be in church with the spirit moving and still not feel a thing.  We would do the niceties after service and greet people with a smile, but still be in our hurt & pain.  The journey home would be in silence only to continue where we left off, raised voices, high volume discussions, and me in tears with frustration.  We were getting nowhere, I couldn’t understand him and he as far as I was concerned he didn’t even try to understand me.

We needed help, major help – not just “I’ve got you in my prayers” help, but practical help. God met that need through a devout woman of God who mentored me and in turn ‘us’.  Our lives are so much more fulfilled now, yes there are challenges, but God has made our journey together a more happier and joyous one.

 

Courtesy of Angela Smith

 

Angela’s Biography

I was born in the early 60s, one of seven children and have known God for the majority of my life. My early days of church were of accompanying my mother to services, crusades etc.  I loved being by my mothers’ side and sitting with her in church, taking in the blessings of the word of God.  My closest sister and I heard about the inception of a community gospel choir and thought it would be a great thing to be involved with.  The choir days were so rewarding, we ministered to diverse congregations and sang at various concerts.  We travelled widely and saw many sights.  It was at one choir rehearsal that a handsome young man approached my sister and I and said “don’t just stand there staring, come and say hello”.  This gorgeous man was God’s blessing to me and later become my husband and soulmate.  It wasn’t love at first sight, but we soon realised that we wanted to spend the rest of our lives together.  Obviously in the early days we had no clue as to what that would mean but we felt that we couldn’t face a future without each other.  He was the man of my dreams – loved God, serious about his faith, strong, determined, hard worker with great potential to be my Boaz.  We sought God earnestly to get our own answers as whether it was his will for us to be married.  God did answer and it is this sanction from God that has kept us focussed all these years.  Learning to love, when he was unloveable, learning to trust and believe even when the energy wasn’t there to draw on.  People were saying we wouldn’t last and unfortunately there were times when I started to believe them.  But the scripture says ‘who’s report do you believe?’  I chose to believe the report of the Lord; and now some 31 years down the line, we are still in love, still in God and have been blessed with four beautiful children.

© Angela Smith.  Jenny Allen & Heart of Refuge  2011 – 2016. Unauthorised use and /or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and owner is strictly prohibited.