Heart of Refuge

Unveiling The Hidden Beauty Of Your Heart

Tag: selfesteem

God’s Best Kept Secret introducing Dr Lanette Kincaid

image courtesy of Dr Lanatte Kincaid 

Beaten before I was beaten

Hello My name is LaNette Kincaid and I’m the founder of Women With Gifts and I’m the VOICE for both sexual abuse and domestic violence. God gave me the vision of creating a platform to speak openly about my past but I ran from this vision for along time because the pain was so deep and to help others meant telling my story and this time telling it without shame.

My story isnt really different from any other women in the world. The only difference from my story and the next person is I’m telling my story and most women will die trying to hide their story of abuse. Before I was ever physically abused I abused myself mentally. I was molested at the age of 12 and raped by the age of 19 which you can read about in detail in my upcoming book.

I named this article Beaten Before I Was Beaten because I beat myself up mentally well before my physical and sexual abuse experiences started. As a child I saw my mother beaten by the man that was supposed to love her. It didnt stop there….I saw two of my aunts with bruises and sometimes broken bones from their spouses. After seeing so much domestic violence at such a early age, I equated being loved with being beaten by the person  who loved you. So mentally I was prepared for being BEAT because in my mind I was already beaten down and probably already gripped with low self-esteem.

I stayed in my situation of being abuse because I didn’t know any better. Its a known fact that when you know better you do better. I also stayed in my situation because it was my way of creating the greatest façade known to man.. It was my way of painting a white fence for a house that was run down and delapatated. So basically I stayed in my abusive relationships for those who were watching. For the people that didn’t care about me or my well-being but pretended to just to see the outcome of my downfalls…Yes I stayed for them. I was too ashamed to be that family member who just couldn’t get their life right-AGAIN. Even after I was beat up physically I beat myself again mentally not trying to leave but beating myself up trying to figure out how to make myself stay comfortably and make the other people around me happy.

I’m now the voice of domestic violence and sexual abuse because no little girl ever deserves to live in fear the way I did. Every women is beautiful and doesn’t need the accent of a black eye or bruises to intensify their beauty. No women should every die by the hands of a fists.

In closing I would like to thank Heart of Refuge for accepting me as a person and sharing my story. It is my prayer that my story and my book will save another life.

Image courtesy of Dr Lanatte Kincaid

LaNette Kincaid is a marine wife and mother of two. LaNette is the Chief Executive Officer to Just Pearlz, a fashion and jewelry company and of Vendor’s Preferred, a business consultant company. LaNette founded both Vendors Preferred and Just Pearlz shortly after graduating from Texas Wesleyan University and receiving a Bachelor’s Degree in Sociology with emphasis Criminal Justice.  she is also founder of WomenWithGifts.com

 

In addition to being an entrepreneur and a volunteer, LaNette is an author, radio personality, motivational speaker, business and fashion expert. Currently LaNette contributes to several fashion and business publications .

LaNette is a strong advocate of religion, high education and family and has been recognized for the following skills: Public speaking, writing, business planning, business management, creativity, event planning, social media, sales and marketing.

LaNette Kincaid recently received the  “Pearl” award from Perfected Magazine and was noted as the best blogger of the year by Examiner.com (2012)

What are you hearing?

Hearing-Speech

” And he said to them, be careful what you are hearing. The measure (of thought and study) you give (to the truth you hear) will be measured (of virtue and knowledge) that comes back to you and more (besides) will be given to you who hear.”    ~  Mark 4:24 (The Amplified Bible)

What have you been listening to that has so consumed your thoughts and what have you been meditating on? The seeds of those meditated thoughts will come back with a harvest in your life.

We can meditate on something negative someone has said to us and the harvest of that can come back as self doubt, low self esteem, worry and fear. We can also meditate on the good someone has said to us and the harvest of that can come back as courage, boldness, increased self esteem, confidence and fearlessness.

What words or statements have shaped who you are today? Make a decision today to chose what you hear and mediate on it. Philippians 4:7 says,

” ….. whatsoever things are true, whatsoever things are honest, whatsoever things are just, whatsoever things are pure, whatsoever things are lovely, whatsoever things are of good report; if there be any virtue, and if there be any praise, think on these things.”

I had to choose to hear what people said about me and what I said to myself as I have had many negative words said to me. But I took those same words refashioned them and used them as stepping stones to climb higher to be the best that I can be. I continue to focus and meditate on what Father God says about me because His thoughts towards me will always be for good and not evil. ” For I know the thoughts I think towards you, saith the Lord, thoughts of peace, and not evil,to give you an expected end.”  ~ Jeremiah 29:11

Dear Heart, take every negative thought or word, refashion it and use it for your good. Meditate on what God thinks and says about you. Find scriptures and use the Word of God to erase the negative and superimpose the positive and beauty of God’s word on your heart.

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