Heart of Refuge

Unveiling The Hidden Beauty Of Your Heart

Tag: families

Taking Back Who You Are!

During periods of life you can give ourself away in the belief that the person you give yourself to will not take you for granted. When you give the best of yourself to someone and you have not taken the time to qualify the relationship, hurt and pain is inevitable.

I want to share with you three things that you may need to consider so you can take back who you are and start living the life that you were born to live. These three things are just to give you the push you may need to start this important process.

1. Learn to say no without feeling guilty.

2. Start investing in YOU ( take a course, start reading books that will empower you to make a change).

3. Use your failures and past mistakes to propel you forward.

Each of these points can take a life time to work out but the most important thing is for you to start working on yourself and for you to become the best person that you can be.

What is a Friend? (Story time! )

When I was younger I found it so difficult to make friend as I was painfully shy and I had a stutter. Some of the people I hung around with use to laugh at me and one person in particular use to pick on me during my first year in secondary school. It was so awful. My self esteem could not sink any lower than it already was.

I had a friend called Jasmine as primary school, she was my bestie and she would always hang out with me during play times and she alway stuck by me. I can never forget her!

I think friendships change as we get older because our needs change and things happen to us in life. Thinking about Jasmine made me think about the importance of great friendships. Below are some tips I tend to use when I am considering a friendship and I would like to share them with you.

A friend is….

  1. someone you can trust, who will not judge you
  2. someone who respects you and your time
  3. someone who respects your boundries
  4. someone who listens
  5. someone who gives you space when you need it and they are not overbearing
  6. someone who respects your right to change and grow.

In the comments below share with me your important aspects of friendship.

Reminder: Don’t forget to sign up for my self esteem course CLICK HERE

Lord Rebuild Me

Image from pixabay.com

Image from pixabay.com

Nehemiah chapter 4 talks of rebuilding the walls of Jerusalem. It was a burden to Nehemiah who was a cupbearer to the king. He came and gathered the people, as verse 6 says they had a mind to work.

As women we build families, children, careers, homes etc.  We build everything  around us and we forget to build ourselves. We give give give and before you realise it many years have passed and the strength we once has is gone. Many times we give to our own detriment.

It is time to ask God to rebuild you, to put back into you what you have lost. Reconstruction needs to take place. Ask God to send builders into your life who can speak words into your spirit that build you and repair the waste places in your life.

Do not allow what you have gone through to destroy your divine value.  You are too important to remain broken and hidden……. Let the construction begin!

Order My New Ebook called “Cut The Apron Strings”

Hi Everyone,

I am so excited to share with you that my first Ebook is now available for pre order. It has been a vision that I have had for over twenty years and I am so greatful to God for honouring this vision

Click the book cover  below to find out more information and links for you to order the book. The cost is  $5.99 (USA)     £4.58      5.29 euros.

 

From the Heart of a Man – Ashley Taylor

Living every day, looking into a mirror” 

It took me a while to sit down and write this blog, I guess because the topic is quite personal and sensitive. If there are two things in my life that I treasure above all, it’s my relationship with God and the relationship with my wife.

When I got married, or rather when I got engaged I was only 20 years old. I took the time to make sure my proposal was amazing for my bride to be (which it was – if you don’t believe me ask her! LOL). I married at 21 and so this new life began with a young lady who I have the responsibility of loving and taking care of. My marriage didn’t start in the clouds of love, floating away into the sunset, but it started in reality. No money, living in one bedroom within a Brixton South London crack-house, and I now have to learn how to be a husband in the worst conditions. Although my wife and I were committed to each other to be together no doubt, the truth is we had to learn how to love each other.

Does that sound backwards? Well, maybe it does, maybe it doesn’t – but that was our reality. Having the questions going back and forth in both our minds – Did I make the right decision? Was I too young? Did I hear God right or wrong about this person? As I write this blog, my marriage has survived good days, bad days, arguments, laughs, a pregnancy, a miscarriage, a miracle baby, counselling, bank overdrafts, poor financial decisions, homelessness, miracle money, depression, new cities, redundancy, new homes, new jobs – but most of all, new love. You see, I had to grow up a whole lot to become a real man.

Almost being married for 6 years now, I can say that it was my relationship with God that changed my marriage. I had to force myself to ask myself the question, “Do I love her like Christ loves me?” This means, do I love her faults, forgive, cover her, and be there for her like Christ does the same for me? This question changed my perspective forever when it came to my marriage. I realised I had no right to be mean, cold, selfish and distant – because I treat Christ so awful many times, but guess what He still loves me! Wow, that’s amazing. It was when I got a revelation of the love of Jesus Christ, I was able to love my wife in a brand new way.

Though we still have many years ahead of us, I know without a doubt that we are in our best years now. I challenge any young man out there, if you want to get married, get ready to live everyday looking in a mirror. When you see your lady, get ready to see yourself: flawed & imperfect – but just like Jesus you have to pour out love and care.

 

Ashley Taylor – BIO

Ashley Taylor, 26, a dreamer & visionary favoured by God, currently resides in Nottingham, England with his wife Sabrina and son, River. Having been in Christian ministry since he was 8 years old, yet not one to be in the spotlight of church circuits and circles, Ashley recognises that God has kept him hidden. He understands that He has been called to be a major influence cross-denominationally within Christian and church environments, and is therefore ever heeding to the instruction of God found in Psalm 2:8, “Ask of Me, and I will give You The nations for Your inheritance, And the ends of the earth for Your possession.” Ashley is an active member in ministry at Heart Church – based in Nottingham, under the leadership & covering of his spiritual father, Pastor Malcolm Baxter.

 

From The Heart of a Man – Micheal Smith

A Man of Faith by Micheal Smith

Courtesy of Micheal Smith MBE

Whatever we as men do in our lives, we have an underlying desire to be great in the eyes of our family. We strive to prove that we are the provider, defender and ruler of the home. The truth is we are overshadowed by our spouse who really runs the home, builds bridges between us and our children and generally keeps the home in order. For some men this can be uncomfortable because we feel out of control, even to a point that the home feels like a bucket with many holes and we struggle to keep everything and everyone together in that bucket. A good man soon learns to operate in the areas of the home that is his domain and allows his spouse and children to operate freely in theirs. No matter what we do, at the end of the day it always comes down to family and the value we place on it.

 

There are many things that drive men to become successful. The one thing that has driven me to do my best is my desire to please my God. I am a firm believer that if we serve God with all our heart and all our energy, he will take care of everything in our lives. I have learned to trust God totally to be my guide, my provider and a very present help in times of difficulty. If we want to really please God, we must first believe that he is God and allow him to be in total control of the steering wheel, the accelerator and the brake of our life vehicle.

That vehicle becomes ‘the desire of our heart’ and we need to get to the point where we recognise that it is God’s calling on our life and we have the choice to accept it or decline that calling. An important saying to remember is this, “A winner never quits and a quitter never wins” we must keep pressing forward. A book by John Maxwell called ‘Failing Forward’ (ISBN: 8601300489926), taught me that failing your way to success is commonplace with most, if not all of the most successful people in the world. Another important secret of success is “Never, Never, Never quit!”

 

Micheal’s Bio
Born and bred in Britain and son of Jamaican parents, Michael had a thirst for excitement in life and as such pursued a path that has led to his current position, as a committed Christian, husband and father.

As a young man Michael was destined for leadership and at age 15 he joined the Air Training Corps where he got a marksmanship in shooting before even getting his uniform and went on to becoming a Sargent. He wanted to be a fighter pilot and went on to gain a Glider Pilots Licence and also flew single-engined light aircraft. After deciding not to join the Royal Air Force as it may have involved taking the life of another, he decided to join the Police, where a major change was needed to improve the poor relationship between black people and the police.

He served as Police Officer for over 22 years, during which time he developed a desire to positively address knife and gun crime amongst young people. In 2007 he founded the charitable organisation Word 4 Weapons, the UK’s first weapons surrender and exchange programme. To date they have removed over 20,000 weapons from UK’s streets. Michael pursued this venture alongside his full-time job and in 2015 took early retirement to spend more time developing Word 4 Weapons. In March 2016 Michael was awarded a MBE by The Queen for his dedication to making the UK a safer place be. In addition, Michael and his wife Angela have now started a new venture offering respite care for Church Leaders and a service to couples experiencing difficulties in their marriage.

How to forgive yourself ~ Practising self forgiveness. Part 1

Forgiving someone for the wrongs they have do to us can be challenging but forgiving ourselves can be a greater challenge. The bible talks about the importance of forgiveness in Matthew 6:14-15 and Mark 11:25.

Here are 4 reasons why it is important to practice self forgiveness.

  1. Diagnose why you need to forgive yourself  ~ Are your memories making you feel guilty and hindering your from self forgiveness?
  2. Accept that failures do not make you a bad person ~ remember failure does not make you a bad person.
  3. Do not be afraid to start again ~ Learn from your experiences and past mistakes and move on. Use them as stepping stones to a brighter future.
  4. Adapt a new mind set by learning from past mistakes ~ Set Goals for your future.

 

My prayer is that from this post you will take the necessary steps to start forgiving yourself  and live the life you were created to live.

 

Domestic Violence and the Church Workshop

  
On Saturday 21st November 2015  I attended a workshop to discuss domestic violence and the church. It was a very thought provoking day organised by Marcia Dixon and the Pentecostal Credit Union.

We had speakers from the church, agencies and survivors. They all shared from their unique perspectives. After the meeting we agreed that these types of workshops need to happen on a regular basis so we can formulate strategies for the faith community.

I was really encouraged by the fact that domestic violence is coming out of the closet and into the light. Most churches are made up of women and an issue that affects them affects the church they attend and ultimately the vision of the church. What would happen if women stopped going to church for a month? Think about it for a moment. They are the corner stone of the church volunteer workforce and programmes.

Let’s start a conversation in our churches which will lead to the healing of hurting families. Sweeping these issues under the carpet only makes it worse and in the long run hurt the church and its spiritual endeavours. Lets prayerfully make our churches a safe house  for hurting families by raising awareness through posters, messages, awareness days and advocacy.

It is time to break the silence.

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