Heart of Refuge

Unveiling The Hidden Beauty Of Your Heart

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Dreams Do Become A Reality ~ My First E-book

 

I started 2016 with a list of goals that I just prayed over and said “God over to you”. I did not know how some of them would be accomplished but I wrote the vision and made it plain.

Well one of my goals was to publish my first eBook. At the time it looked like a huge mountain but God connected me with a class Dawniel Winningham was teaching about ebooks. So I paid for the class and listen and took notes. Then I made contact with Julia Royston, a publisher and she helped me to publish my first book on 19th September. I am in the process of writing other books and can’t wait to launch them in 2017

When  you have a vision, God will connect the dots and cross the T’s. It was a goal that appeared to be so far fetched for me but I wrote it down anyway.

If you had a goal in 2016 that  has not happened then make sure you write it down as your first goal for 2017. Don’t discard or give up on it. Keep praying over it and keep going!

Here is the link to download my eBook on amazon  Click here .It deals with issues that we may have had we our parents and the dangers of passing on those issues to our own children, if we do not deal with them. at the end of each chapter are exercises that you can do.

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God’s Best Kept Secret ~ Duana Cooper

Photo courtesy of Duana Cooper

Thanks for having me on your blog. As a young stay at home mother of three beautiful children, I have to make time for everything thing I do especially time for myself. After spending my day catering to my children, I get some “me time” once I put them to bed. During this time, I read my bible, spend quality time with my husband, edit videos, and catch up on shows that I do not watch while my kids are awake. I also have a loving supportive husband that helps with the children when I need a break. He is amazing when it comes to helping around the house. I also get time for myself is when my children are in school. My first two attended a preschool at the age of 2 for two days out the week. Since we are done having children, my youngest son will start once he turns 3. Then, this will give me more time to do things around the house or anything I want to do. I would recommend this for any mother out there with small children. This also helps the child with social development.  My self-esteem has been built over the years because of my family. They let me know how they appreciate what I do for them. My children love to write me notes, give me flowers, or rocks that they find. That alone lets me know that I am doing my part as their mother. My husband lets me know how blessed he is to have me. Hearing that would make any woman feel confident and secure in their marriage. I also like to work out to make sure I look the best that I can. This helps eliminate any stress. It also makes me energized for the rest of the day. Also, making sure that I look presentable helps with my self-esteem. I do not get all dressed up often depending on where I’m going. But, when I do, it makes me feel good about myself. To me, when I look my best, I feel my best and other can tell.

My Christian faith plays a big part in my life. We are members of the Church of Christ. I was raised in the church at a very young age. My mother made it her duty that we went to church every Sunday and Wednesday. Also, if there was a gospel meeting going on, we were there. That is why my love for God is so strong. My husband and I have raised our kids the same way. They never want to miss Sunday school or a chance to go to church. As a family, we are still learning and growing everyday by the grace of God.

Duana’s Bio

My name is Duana. I am 29 years old. I am a wife and mother of three beautiful children, Ia 7, Isaac 5, and Isaiah 2. My husband and I have been married for 9 years. I stay home to take care of my family. However, I just graduated this past May with a Bachelor’s degree in General Sociology. It took me eight years, but I finally finished. We have a YouTube Channel called The Curly Coopers which is about family, fun, and hair.

 

Social Media info

Instagram- @thecurlycoopers

YouTube Channel – https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCwskTA3Rm_ktVDRxlhLHUgQ

 

 

Order My New Ebook called “Cut The Apron Strings”

Hi Everyone,

I am so excited to share with you that my first Ebook is now available for pre order. It has been a vision that I have had for over twenty years and I am so greatful to God for honouring this vision

Click the book cover  below to find out more information and links for you to order the book. The cost is  $5.99 (USA)     £4.58      5.29 euros.

 

From The Heart of a Man ~ Kenneth Reyes

 

Courtesy Kenneth Reyes

Nothing in life carries more gravity than being a good father and husband. Serving in the military adds a level of complexity that most families do not have to deal with. Most civilians are unaware of the lawful demand that the profession of arms asks of its members. This demand is simply stated as, the mission comes first. If you are unfamiliar with the term, the mission comes first, allow me to get you up-to-speed. The “mission” is any military requirement that is asked of me. This can stem from as mundane as administrative paper work to the extreme of a combat deployment. The mission comes first regardless of my family situation. Child being born < Army; Wedding Anniversary < Army; Death in the Family < Army. True, with special permission these conflicts of interest can be resolved but you need the Army’s permission first.

This requires me to be on top of my husband and fatherly duties at all times. I need to build emotional resiliency in my wife and daughter so they can mentally manage the disappointment of my absence and all the little things that are on the daily battlefield of emotional happiness. School plays, playtime, tucking my daughter into bed, being there to hold my wife after a rough day. These are just some of the constant challenges I face as a father and husband in the military.

The question for those that know me is, how did I stay married for 19 years and be under 40? The answer is simple but the execution is much harder. I loved my wife as I wanted her to love me. I tried to be as understanding to her needs as I want her to be understanding to mine. Lastly, forgiveness proved to be the most important element to our success. I strived to forgive her for all perceived wrongs against me as I hoped she would try to forgive me for all my perceived wrongs against her. It didn’t hurt that the Lord scripted onto my heart that I would take care of her till my dying breath either.

Our relationship enjoys the unfair advantage of the Lord’s favor. We have faced challenges that have crushed other couples, but our love has the spiritual backing of one that is greater than the world. Therefore our love is able to resist the world’s challenges. This doesn’t mean we don’t fall victim to the snares of being rude, impatient, or hurting-one-another. We just seem to have an unending well of forgiveness for each other. This allows us to enjoy an unbreakable bond. After reading this you may be disappointed if you came looking for answers that could easily be replicated in your own relationship, but in the end we give God all the glory.

 

 

Captain Kenneth Reyes  ~ United States Army Paratrooper

Kenneth Reyes was born in Hoboken, NJ in 1978 and grew up as a military dependent.  Ken travelled the world with his mother and older brother; Hawaii, California, Puerto Rico, Germany, and Texas.  He graduated from High School at Killeen, TX and promptly enlisted in the United States Air Force at the age of 17 in 1996.  He attended Basic Military Training at Lackland Air Force Base, San Antonio, Texas.  After Basic Military Training, his first permanent duty station was McClellan Air Force Base, Sacramento, California.  He soon deployed to Bosnia to support the NATO led Stabilization Force in Bosnia and Herzegovina for 3 months. His mission was to assist in halting Serbian forces from completing their campaign of ethnic cleansing the Kosovo Albanians.

In 2000 while serving as a Senior Airman, Ken completed his first Associates in Applied Science in Information Technology Systems form the Community College of the Air Force (CCAF).  The CCAF is a federally-chartered degree-granting institution that serves the United States Air Force’s enlisted force.  In 2005 while serving as a Technical Sergeant, Ken completed his second Associates in Applied Science from the CCAF in Education & Training Management. He also completed a Bachelors of Science in Management from the University of Phoenix.  In 2006 Ken competed and was awarded an opportunity to attended Officer Candidate School.  After successfully completing Officer Candidate School, Ken received a commission from the President of the United States as an Army Second Lieutenant in the Adjutant General Corps.

In 2007 while serving as a Second Lieutenant, Ken volunteered to serve his country as a United States Army Paratrooper in the 82nd Airborne Division.  Ken was assigned to the 4th Squadron, 73rd Cavalry Regiment in the 508th Parachute Infantry Regiment (4th Brigade Combat Team).  Ken served as their Adjutant General Officer for 46 months.  While in the 82nd Airborne Division he served 27 months in Afghanistan in support of Operation Enduring Freedom.

In 2011 while serving as a Captain, Ken took command of Charlie Company, 120th Adjutant General Battalion (Reception), Fort Jackson, Columbia, SC for 22 months.  During this time Ken received, equipped, motivated, and shipped over 36,000 Soldiers to Basic Combat Training.  In 2013 Ken completed his Masters of Arts in Human Resource Management from Webster University.

Since 2013 Ken has been serving as an Assistant Professor of Military Science for Army ROTC at Embry-Riddle Aeronautical University, Stetson University, Bethune-Cookman, and Daytona State College. Some of his awards and decorations include the Bronze Star Medal, the Meritorious Service Medal, theArmy Commendation Medal, the Army Achievement Medal, the Navy and Marine Corps Achievement

Medal, the Air Force Achievement Medal, the National Defense Service Medal, the Afghanistan Campaign Medal (with two campaign stars), the Global War on Terrorism Service Medal, the NATO ISAF Medal, the Polish Army Service Medal, the Combat Action Badge, and the Parachutist Badge.

 

 

God’s Best Kept Secret introducing Dr Lanette Kincaid

image courtesy of Dr Lanatte Kincaid 

Beaten before I was beaten

Hello My name is LaNette Kincaid and I’m the founder of Women With Gifts and I’m the VOICE for both sexual abuse and domestic violence. God gave me the vision of creating a platform to speak openly about my past but I ran from this vision for along time because the pain was so deep and to help others meant telling my story and this time telling it without shame.

My story isnt really different from any other women in the world. The only difference from my story and the next person is I’m telling my story and most women will die trying to hide their story of abuse. Before I was ever physically abused I abused myself mentally. I was molested at the age of 12 and raped by the age of 19 which you can read about in detail in my upcoming book.

I named this article Beaten Before I Was Beaten because I beat myself up mentally well before my physical and sexual abuse experiences started. As a child I saw my mother beaten by the man that was supposed to love her. It didnt stop there….I saw two of my aunts with bruises and sometimes broken bones from their spouses. After seeing so much domestic violence at such a early age, I equated being loved with being beaten by the person  who loved you. So mentally I was prepared for being BEAT because in my mind I was already beaten down and probably already gripped with low self-esteem.

I stayed in my situation of being abuse because I didn’t know any better. Its a known fact that when you know better you do better. I also stayed in my situation because it was my way of creating the greatest façade known to man.. It was my way of painting a white fence for a house that was run down and delapatated. So basically I stayed in my abusive relationships for those who were watching. For the people that didn’t care about me or my well-being but pretended to just to see the outcome of my downfalls…Yes I stayed for them. I was too ashamed to be that family member who just couldn’t get their life right-AGAIN. Even after I was beat up physically I beat myself again mentally not trying to leave but beating myself up trying to figure out how to make myself stay comfortably and make the other people around me happy.

I’m now the voice of domestic violence and sexual abuse because no little girl ever deserves to live in fear the way I did. Every women is beautiful and doesn’t need the accent of a black eye or bruises to intensify their beauty. No women should every die by the hands of a fists.

In closing I would like to thank Heart of Refuge for accepting me as a person and sharing my story. It is my prayer that my story and my book will save another life.

Image courtesy of Dr Lanatte Kincaid

LaNette Kincaid is a marine wife and mother of two. LaNette is the Chief Executive Officer to Just Pearlz, a fashion and jewelry company and of Vendor’s Preferred, a business consultant company. LaNette founded both Vendors Preferred and Just Pearlz shortly after graduating from Texas Wesleyan University and receiving a Bachelor’s Degree in Sociology with emphasis Criminal Justice.  she is also founder of WomenWithGifts.com

 

In addition to being an entrepreneur and a volunteer, LaNette is an author, radio personality, motivational speaker, business and fashion expert. Currently LaNette contributes to several fashion and business publications .

LaNette is a strong advocate of religion, high education and family and has been recognized for the following skills: Public speaking, writing, business planning, business management, creativity, event planning, social media, sales and marketing.

LaNette Kincaid recently received the  “Pearl” award from Perfected Magazine and was noted as the best blogger of the year by Examiner.com (2012)

A time to speak out by Windsor Queensborough  

This book is an important read for every person in church leadership.  Windsor Queensborough does an excellent job in discussing the issue of domestic violence and the church. He uses the stories of Tamar and Joseph in the bible to speak out about this issue that the church has kept under the carpet for to long.

This book can be purchased on Amazon. Your church needs this book!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Jenny Allen’s Voice ~ Domestic Violence Awareness (Introduction)

This month has been designated Domestic Violence (DV) Awareness month. So for this month my posts will be dedicated to raising awareness. These posts will be called ” Jenny Allen’s Voice” as I am lending my voice to the women who are unable to speak for themselves.

Lending your voice to those who are unable to speak up is so important. We can use our voice to profit ourselves, in fact we do it everyday but I would like to encourage you to lend your voice to causes that need it.

In this series I will be sharing,

1. 10 myths about DV

2. DV and the church

3.  How to support a friend

4.  How a victim can keep safe

5. What your church can do to help

6. Life after DV.

DV does not respect social class, colour, culture, socioeconomic status and even gender. DV against men by women is coming to light at an alarming rate but the majority of cases are against women.

What is Domestic Violence?

Women’s Aid (Womansaid.org) uses the Home Office definition of domestic violence which is:

“Any incident or pattern of incidents of controlling, coercive or threatening behaviour, violence or abuse between those aged 16 or over who are or have been intimate partners or family members regardless of gender or sexuality. This can encompass but is not limited to the following types of abuse:

• psychological

• physical

• sexual

• financial

• emotional

Controlling behaviour is: a range of acts designed to make a person subordinate and/or dependent by isolating them from sources of support, exploiting their resources and capacities for personal gain, depriving them of the means needed for independence, resistance and escape and regulating their everyday behaviour.

Coercive behaviour is: an act or a pattern of acts of assault, threats, humiliation and intimidation or other abuse that is used to harm, punish, or frighten their victim.”*) uses the Home Office definition of domestic violence which is:

In the UK domestic violence accounts for between 16% and one-quarter of all recorded violent crime.In anyone year there are 13  million separate incidents of physical violence or threats against women from partners or former partners. (www.womansaid.org accessed 25.08.2015).

In my next post I will be sharing 3 myths of domestic violence.

Heart to Heart Quote

“Don’t allow what you have been through to veil the love of God in your heart”

The Lord said this to me early last year when I was in a very painful situation. I knew he wanted me to write but I was in too much pain to do it. But in the middle of the pain I just started writing . Through writing I have been able to release  my thoughts and declutter my heart. Along the way God has used my words to touch your heart for which I am grateful.

If the Lord has placed something on your heart to do, do it and trust him to guide and lead you each step of the way.

Broken heart with white tree

Dear Father God Prayers – A Prayer for Hurting Mothers

Image: African American Art Print by ” A woman’s work” By Kevin Williams

Dear Father God,

I just want to lift up to you every mother that is hurting right now. Father you know the pain and burdens she carries for her children, Lord you see the falling tears and the muffled cries at night in her pillow. You see the sadness behind that smile, Father you see her heart. As she cries out to you on behalf of her children, answer the cry of her heart.

Any child who has an addiction set them free through her prayers Lord, those who are in gangs,  fulfil those children’s need to belong. Whatever needs your hurting daughters are lifting up to you on behalf of their children answer their prayer.

Father, I lift up the tears and prayers of these mothers to you as they intercede, fast and warfare over their children. Father your word says that the children you have given them are for signs and wonders, Father you said that children will be a fruitful vine around the homes of their parents. Restore and repair the mother child relationship bring healing as only you can do.

Lord I lift up any mother reading this prayer who is bereaving the loss of her child. Father only you know how to comfort her in this difficult time and you Lord are the God of all comfort.

Father I lift up to you any mother that is feeling guilty about her motherhood. Lord help her to forgive and release herself from that burden. Minister to her in a very unique way, let her know that she is released and forgiven in Jesus name Amen.

Dad’s United – A Tribute to Fathers

image: m.inmagine.com

I want to salute fathers who love and look after their children. I know of a few men who have not seen their children for years, who pay child support but the mothers are using the children as a weapon by not letting the children see them.

It is a painful thing to watch and see men suffer like this. The presence of a father is vital in the lives of children. What ever happened between the parents, should not block  a father  from seeing his children. It is a grave mistake and will have repercussions on  the mother in years to come.

Yes there are “dead beat” dads out there and this post is not for them, but not every father is dead beat, not every father chooses not to take his responsibilities seriously. There are fathers who  work two or three jobs to make sure they provide. Lets take the time to salute them.

If your father was someone who did not fulfil his responsibilities and you find it difficult to celebrate him then find someone else who provided that father figure for you and celebrate them, appreciate them, love them.

Many many people have been wounded by their father and it has affected their self perception, self image and their progress in life and even their relationships with their own children. But there is help today. If you are a father reading this, drop your pride and look for help and healing in your own relationship with your own father so you can be a better father to your own children because they need you. Your own wounding is wounding them. Please do what you need to do to heal and then love on your children or at least start to build a bridge. Remember no one is perfect but at least make a start.

Then there is a father of all fathers, one who understands every beat of your heart, who can read the messages in each tear that you shed. My heavenly Father…….ahh what can I say. “Father God thank you, Thank you. Thank you for giving me your love letter, the bible, thank you for using it to show me how you feel and think about me. Thank you for picking me up and dusting me off. Thank you for being there and providing for me evn though I ignored you when you were trying to get my attention. Thank you for warming my heart with your love and care.”

My dad was not perfect but he has matured like a good wine and he makes me laugh. I call him “Prince Freddie”.

If you can take a moment and call your dad or the father figure in your life and tell them how much you love and appreciate them. Fathers, take a moment now and call you children, tell them how much you love and care for them. Keep this love cycle going.  You are to be celebrated!

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