Heart of Refuge

Unveiling The Hidden Beauty Of Your Heart

Month: October 2015

Thank You !

This is post is just to say thank you to everyone who read, liked or commented on my blog posts during the month of October for Domestic Violence Awareness.

I really appreciate it.

Worship with me ~ How Great Thou Art

Take a moment and worship with me……….

Jenny Allen’s Voice – Life after Domestic Violence

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Once a person has left an abusive relationship there will be a period of adjustment and healing.

There are a few things a survivor can do to start a new life.

  1. Take time and space for yourself
  2. Seek counselling and emotional help
  3. Learn a new skill
  4. Be creative. Take up drawing, painting or writing.

Life after DV is a daily walk of healing and discovery. My prayer for each survivor is that they will see the beauty of who they are both inside and out.

I want to take this opportunity to thank everyone for taking this journey with me and I pray you will join me in raising awareness.

Jenny Allen’s Voice – Domestic Violence ~ How to support someone.

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Supporting someone in a domestic violence situation is a crucial life line that can safe a person’s life.

The link below is the giving support page of the Woman’s Aid website. Please click and read to see how you can be a lifeline to some one.

http://www.womensaid.org.uk/page.asp?section=000100010008002300020002&sectionTitle=Giving+support

Jenny Allen’s Voice ~ Domestic Violence in the Church -Raising Awareness

No More

What can a church do to help and raise awareness? Here are 3 ways  a church can help.

  1. The church can liaise with local or national domestic violence forums and organisations to raise awareness. They could also raise awareness  in their sermons and by displaying information in their church.
  2. Pastors and leadership may be the first to hear of domestic violence situations in their church. The leadership can start to hold men accountable and be an effective change agent in the community.
  3. Leaders can refer victims to a DV agency or the police and have share information regarding safety plans.

The links below have additional resources for churches.

http://www.focusministries1.org/pastorstools.asp

http://www.hiddenhurt.co.uk/religion_and_domestic_violence.html

http://www.faithtrustinstitute.org/resources/articles/Role-of-Churches.pdf

Domestic abuse is very common is our society and will be reflected in the church. Please do all you can to raise awareness in your local church as it is a growing epidemic that the church cannot afford to ignore.

Jenny Allen’s Voice ~ Domestic Violence in The Church (Part 2)

This video shares the story of a couple who searched for help from their local church. The husband is in church leadership. Please take the time to watch.

Jenny Allen’s Voice ~ Domestic Violence in The Church (Part 1)

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In this post and the next post  I will be sharing about domestic violence in the church. I have decided to post a video as it offers much more information. Please watch.

Jenny Allen’s Voice ~ 3 Myths about Domectic Violence (Part 2)

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Following on from my previous post I will be sharing 3 additional myths.

Myth 4 ~ Children are not at risk from being hurt or injured.

Men who abuse their partners are more likely to abuse the children in the home.

Myth 5 ~ The victim must have done something to provoke the abuse,

Abuse is a pattern of intimidation and isolation to keep the victim under their power and control.  Victims describe their abusers as Dr Jekyl and Mr Hyde in character.

Myth 6 ~ If the abuse is so bad the victim should just leave.

For the victim leaving is the most dangerous time. The abuser will tell his victim  that he will kill them if they leave or use the children as a threat for custody which can force the victim to stay.

The video below shares the story of a women who was in an abusive relationship. She also explains why it is difficult for women to leave. Please take the time to watch.

References www.agape-aid.org and www.usatoday.com(accessed 25.08.2015)

Jenny Allen’s Voice ~ 3 Myths about Domestic Violence (Part 1)

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There are so many myths surrounding domestic violence (DV). In this post and my next post I will be sharing six of these myths

Myth 1 ~  Domestic Violence is not common

  • DV facts show that it is very common. In the US a woman is beaten every 9 seconds by a man.
  • DV is the leading cause of injury to women.
  • 5.3 million women will be abused this year in the USA. Of these women 3 to 4 are killed each day by partners or former partners.
  • An estimated 1.4 million women and 700,000 men in the UK have suffered domestic abuse in 2014, according to figures from the Office for National Statistics (ONS)
  • According to the ONS, 4.9 million women, or 28%, and 2.4 million men, or nearly 15%, have experienced some form of domestic abuse since the age of 16.

Myth 2 ~  Domestic Violence is an anger control issue

DV has nothing to do with anger. Anger is a tool used by abusers to get what they want and it is more to do with domination and control.

Myth 3 ~ DV happens only once or twice in a relationship.

Abusers usually escalate violent behaviours in frequency and intensity over time.

For further information please visit www.womensaid.org.uk. Please also take a moment to watch the video below.

References www.agape-aid.org and www.usatoday.com(accessed 25.08.2015)

http://www.theguardian.com/society/2015/feb/12/14-million-women-suffered-domestic-abuse-last-year-ons-figures-show. (Accessed 02.10.15)

Jenny Allen’s Voice ~ Domestic Violence Awareness (Introduction)

This month has been designated Domestic Violence (DV) Awareness month. So for this month my posts will be dedicated to raising awareness. These posts will be called ” Jenny Allen’s Voice” as I am lending my voice to the women who are unable to speak for themselves.

Lending your voice to those who are unable to speak up is so important. We can use our voice to profit ourselves, in fact we do it everyday but I would like to encourage you to lend your voice to causes that need it.

In this series I will be sharing,

1. 10 myths about DV

2. DV and the church

3.  How to support a friend

4.  How a victim can keep safe

5. What your church can do to help

6. Life after DV.

DV does not respect social class, colour, culture, socioeconomic status and even gender. DV against men by women is coming to light at an alarming rate but the majority of cases are against women.

What is Domestic Violence?

Women’s Aid (Womansaid.org) uses the Home Office definition of domestic violence which is:

“Any incident or pattern of incidents of controlling, coercive or threatening behaviour, violence or abuse between those aged 16 or over who are or have been intimate partners or family members regardless of gender or sexuality. This can encompass but is not limited to the following types of abuse:

• psychological

• physical

• sexual

• financial

• emotional

Controlling behaviour is: a range of acts designed to make a person subordinate and/or dependent by isolating them from sources of support, exploiting their resources and capacities for personal gain, depriving them of the means needed for independence, resistance and escape and regulating their everyday behaviour.

Coercive behaviour is: an act or a pattern of acts of assault, threats, humiliation and intimidation or other abuse that is used to harm, punish, or frighten their victim.”*) uses the Home Office definition of domestic violence which is:

In the UK domestic violence accounts for between 16% and one-quarter of all recorded violent crime.In anyone year there are 13  million separate incidents of physical violence or threats against women from partners or former partners. (www.womansaid.org accessed 25.08.2015).

In my next post I will be sharing 3 myths of domestic violence.

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